Describing Pain

Pain is the way your body tells you that you have crossed your comfort zone. Your body is telling you that you have done something unusual and it’s not very happy with what’s been going on. But actually, it is okay for you to feel that. It is totally fine for you to feel the pain in your stomach because you have tasted a new spicy dish from that new restaurant around the corner, or bruised from climbing a big tree to grab your little sibling’s kite, or a red sore feet from wearing a new high heels on a nice date, it is all a good kind of pain.

If the pain is unbearable, you may think that “this is the end” and no, that’s not the end. There’s a reason behind it, you may think that you can no longer do the old ballet moves that you did when you were young, and you are in pain doing it now. It is just because you have stopped trying. You had enough of ballet when you’re 15, but now you realize how much you love dancing to the rhythm, and you regret your past decision. That’s what being in pain is; you’re trying to pick up the pieces.

Being in pain may be hard; it will affect every little detail in your life. It will change the way you see, talk, walk, or even how you process everything in your life but that’s the beauty of it. You may find a new system for doing one particular thing, you could specify which part is good and the opposite, you have learned because you were in pain.

For better or worse, we all have our kind of story with pain. It’s a great time to realize that we can feel it, and should be very grateful because that means we have experienced the feeling. The pain that you took from doing something beyond your comfort zone is remarkable; it has marked your adventure as a safe point though you know how painful it is and you have to be careful for not doing it again. All you have to do when you’re in pain is just calmly enjoy the state and see where you left off.

 

With Love,

B

The Living without Living

Yes, I am in that kind of state. It’s the boredom that eating me up daily. I shouldn’t be, because if I’m looking through my life right now where I just need to walk across the street for the beach and climb a little for a mountain’s hill, I really shouldn’t be bored.

I have tried concentrating in my work, but writing seems a bit confusing, and playing games not amusing me anymore—yes, I play online games. Funny random fact: The only reason I play was to talk with other players. It is a bit lonely here.

Back to the early 23 years living in the city, I often feel the same loneliness. No sparks, and no excitements—don’t get me wrong, I have friends.

I never want to know what is wrong with me. If I decided to check my condition to the shrinks, they might say that I have anxiety, or depression. That ought to be one of that, but I refuse to agree.

Here’s what I think of it:

Human, have ups and downs all the time. Well I’m a human, so my ups are when I socialize with people, and I can get really cheerful for it. But the second I parted ways with people, the downs, the loneliness, tiredness, and other-ness struck me.

That’s just because the happier I get when I meet people, the more energy I lost. Not that I don’t like meeting my friends, to be honest, sometimes I go to a mini-market just to greet people—that’s the whole new kind of lonely.

I have a small capacity of energy, and not very good at keeping them.

Well. This is a wishy washy words vomit for the day. Congratulations, you just wasted 2-3 minutes of your life reading this.

With love,

B